top 5 worst pick up line

#5

violently tapped on my arm "hey, your name??!?" excuse me! is this how you ask for a name???

#4

"are these your group of female friends?" yes, why? "are you sure?" yes, why?? "you look too pretty to hang out with them" what?!?! you are rude! i don't want to chat with you.

#3

"hi! i drive a bmw, i own a huge house in a posh area, i'm a good guy and i really want to treat you to a posh dinner" huh??! do i look materialistic to you?

#2

rubbed his groin against me "oohhh ... wanna get to know me?" #$)Q#&!! what!?!? i want to get to know you??? piss off!

#1

"are you a call gal?" *#^$@*&!! no!!! "are you a student?" what makes you think so? "you look too young to be here" thanks but no! "are you working here?" no ...??? "are you a bum?" @%&*#@! "are you alone and do i need to buy you a drink?" @$@#*!!

i am coming!

the most frequent word that i've used today .... " i am coming!!!!!" .... *sigh* ...

• darn early in the morning my day started off with a ding dong on my door bell ... i am coming!!!!!
• then reached my office and before i could heat up my butt and seat, ring ring ring, "alooo good morning sleepy cheekypau, remember about our meeting?" ... opppsss ... ok ok i am coming!!!!!
• another ring ring ring, "i am looking for the amended blah blah blah" .... oh ya, i've done the amendments ... ok ok i am coming!!!!!
• a turbo note on my comp screen, "can we discuss something urgent?" ... ok ok i am coming!!!!!
• it's lunch time, "hey cheekypau, the gang is waiting downstairs" .... ok ok i am coming!!!!!
• resume work and then a ring ring ring, "you've got some stuff couriered to you, please collect" .... ok ok i am coming!!!!!
• another of another ring ring ring, "hey we've got a problem, i need your blah blah blah" ..... ok ok i am coming!!!!!
• midst of settling down to do proper desk work, "cheekypau, the director would like to see you", *gulp* ..... ok ok i am coming!!!!!
• another of another of another ring ring ring, "where are you? dinner is at 6.30pm" ..... ok ok i am coming!!!!!

no fun -_- aint orgasmic enough for me to scream with excitement "I AM COMINGGGGGgggg!!!!"

signs of stress?

how to tell when you are under extreme stress??? am i under one if i suffer the below?

• stiffness in the lower back or neck or gut or even tightness in the chest?
• there's nothing better than seeing someone worse off than me which gives a moment of relief?
• 'tuned out' to what's around me, clumsy and the likelihood of bumping into things? lots of ugly bruises now.
• breakdown? tears rolling down at my cheek at any unwanted or unexpected news?
• can't think straight and the temper is on a 0.5cm fuse for a sec only? @#*%@&Q&%!! ok now i'm fine.
• the state of mind is under mental tension worrying about the next day and causing sleep deprivation?
• screaming for coffee first thing in the morning to boost up my fatigue, low energy and alertness?

i need to regain control of my life! so donate me with alot of hugs and kisses (guys only :p), cash, an oil massage and food pampering now! hahahaha! what a nice theory. i bet you are going to say that the said remedies are not for stress but lack of attention.

beachy mood

yippie! out comes my shades and time to dip into the sea with my bikini. love the sea but darn glary from the blazing hot sun and lucky for me the sea is cooler than the land surface thus creating a sweet cool breeze. played the banana boat and fell into the sea twice *splosh!!* exciting and freakish when each time i had to get my sexy butt out of there asap because there were alot of jelly fish floating around! no sun burn! how bizzare, but do you know that cats and dogs can suffer sun burn too especially the white cat? love the bbq and drinking session :p~~~ on the way back, 2 things happened and my boss called me a jinx-er again. so bad. firstly, something splattered on his windscreen. we were guessing if it's either a group of bird shit or a group of insect. took him a while to clean up altho squirted alot of water. secondly, our navigator nearly ran over a cat but my boss drove close behind and had no time to swerve away. stupidly he thought that the cat was dump and would stay put. *crack!!!!* cross my heart i could have puked when i've heard that. imagine if the poor cat's skull being ran over by a huge and heavy car and all of the brain's thick messy goo splattered. yerrrrr .... yucks! i guess the so called 9 lifes ran out of luck.

true or false?

does it describe me? a lethal combination?

bashful, but have all the wiles and weapons, including a determination to pursue happiness. seek romance, and commitment is an integral part of it. if in love, will go to any lengths to make sure it works. on the flip side, if in an unhappy relationship, will snap the cords with ease. can be deadly practical and divinely romantic at the same time. perfectionist, but not perfect. prefer light, feminine scents and soft, muted earth tones. greatest asset, practical attitude and self-assuredness. philosophical, wise, calm and understanding, though often fickle or self-indulgent. elegant to the point of being ostentatious. can behave selfishly if crossed. charming personality and elegant in dress. receptive and a deep thinker and likes to judge by intuition. fortunate in wealth through her life!

banana

i am actually brain dead right now. sleepy and munching away my yummy huge banana for lunch. what to blog about? i can't think of anything crap to talk about .. think think think .. *idea!!* .. ohh! i shall blog about bananas !! ... hahahaha

do you know that there are approximately 300 species of bananas but only 20 species are commercially cultivated? i only eye for the big huge ones with the montel sticker :p~~~~~

do you know the phrase "go bananas" or "top banana / second banana"?

do you know that the true origin of bananas is found in the region of malaysia, travelled to india in the BCE century and eventually spread over to the western world?

do you know the banana boat song? originated from jamaica and sung by the jamaican banana workers. how does it go ar .... ohhhh .... "come mr tally man, tally me banana, daylight come and we wanna go home."

do you know the medicinal use of banana? interesting but it helps anaemia, blood pressure, brain power, constipation, depression, hangovers, heartburn, morning sickness, mosquito bites, nerves, overweight, pms, smoking, stress, strokes, ulcers, warts, etc.

do you know the yummy ways of enjoying a banana? banana milkshake? banana split? ice cream flavoured banana? chewing gum flavoured banana? i've tried this yummy banana dish at phuket 2 months ago. imagine roti pisang but it's crispy and coated with chocolate fudge..... gosh! ..... *drool* ..... banana-freakin-licious!

join me go bananas with banana! ^_^

6.6.06

what is the big commotion or hoo-ha over the 6.6.06 date? badluck? devil? evil? omen? don't fill me with that. to me that kind of mentality is full of rubbish, nonsense and absurdness. are you living in a meaningless and irrational universe? how come my day was absolutely fine?? overall i am a happy tuesday cheeky pau ^_^. well, except for the fact that something popped up and i couldn't eat my tom yam again. hmmmmm ... how come i'm always blogging on food lately??! i need to get over my crave pretty soon.

anyway, went to this hakka eating place at curve with my good sista-sista. not tasty at all. *sniff* sad. but lots of laughter *wink wink hooray!* and the best part was at the end of the meal .... fortune cookies! .... all 3 received a positive remark which placed a smile on each of our faces. not that we believe it but we plan to achieve it. yup, i believe you can put some positive truth into it if you work for it!

hey, this reminds me of one meaningful sms which was texted on 4th June 2006 "ya ... god bless 3 of us good friends to be happy with our loved ones. hehe." remember?! remember?! *sigh* ..... missing my momma n papa n notti bros.

faith and piggy

faith:

da vinci code, the hot topic. what's the big deal? faith people faith! christianity value = better person. seek peace, love and understanding in this world. want to share a funny website to visit.

http://www.syfc.org.sg/events/dvc/cinema.html

"never borrow from the future. if you worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn't happen, you have worried in vain. even if it does happen, you have to worry twice."

piggy:

thanks ya for the abundant and unspeakable amount of lavish food pampering that i've been getting for the past 7 days. *gobsmacked seductive n O_O* strawberry tart crumble cake, *luscious n ohhh la la* fetucini with white mushroom sauce, *sweet n nutritious* delivered fruits (i like the guava but not the rose-apple :p), *yummy* nonya meal, *healthy n satisfying* green salad buffet, *delightful n toothsome* roadside rojak and cendol, *tasty n natural* home-made dumplings, *slurpy n appealing* mee loh, *tantalising* seafood, *delicious finger licking* bbq buffet, *mouth-watering* mcd, *sensuous n cooling* hagan dazz ice cream, *pleasing* breakfast that my colleagues and boss pampers me everyday, *appetising* banana ... and alot more to brag about ... nearly out of saliva to ooze or drool but i have one more space for the savory hot and spicy tom yam steamboat before i call it quits for one week. too bad the shop was not open tonight and i was actually anticipating for it since yesterday. couldn't think of anything to replace it. had to settle for this stall which serves "mum's home cook steamed spicy chilli chicken rice" *gasp!* what a long name to call it. sob sob ... still thinking about the tom yam.

i am a happy monday cheeky pau!

sms

been getting alot of forwarded sms this week. how come my sista sista out there never and/or don't send me any forwarded sms? celebration forwarded sms are not counted. the only forwarded sms i get are in situations like "ehhh ah moi, can help me forward my sms to msX cos mine don't seem to get through" or "msY said (copy paste)". is it because we talk too much rubbish face to face till there is no need to waste time on forwarded sms? or are forwarded sms meant to indicate that i have nothing interesting to say but i am thinking of you right now?

FRIENDSHIP

friends are like balloons

once you let them go

you can never bring them back

that's why i'll tie you tight in my heart!

BOOTY

3 phases of woman's boobs

20s - like melons, round & firm

30s to 40s - like pears, still nice but hanging a bit

after 50s - like onions, you see them and they make you cry

LAUGHTER

always find time to laugh

being happy is a choice, not a chance

laughter adds life

be happy and take good care

WANITA

tidur dengan wanita cantik ...... bangga 1/2 mati

tidur dengan dara ...... letih 1/2 mati

tidur dengan gf ...... nafsu 1/2 mati

tidur dengan isteri ...... pura-pura mati

MAGIC

it's magic how friendship begins

its always a mystery how it grows

im truly proud i have you

paupau as one [",][,"]

know cheeky pau's favourite food?

how well do you know paupau? pau don't do diets. NEVER .... only applicable to 2006. hehehe. pamper pau with pau's favourite tongue teaser and BINGO!!!! pau's heart will be yours. hint hint on pau's current food for love list but subject to changes. depending on pau's drool :p~~~~~~~~~

• fruits : strawberry - banana - papaya
• deserts : ice cream - moist cakes - tarts - triffle - sorbet - caramel pudding
• flava : vanilla - strawberry - caramel
• fast food : mc donald - kfc - mos burger
• meal : char kwee tiaw - sushi - salad - fetucini with white mushroom sauce - fish - loh shee fun - hokkien mee - brinjal - soup - anything to do with potato - roti pisang - porridge
• drinks : h2o - kampai - milo - long island tea - flavoured tea - fresh milk
• junky : famous amos cookies - cheezels - chewing gum

if you can't score more than 70%, then you don't know how to pamper pau at all!